What makes you different? A qualitative study on experiences of not fitting in with social norms across cultures

People who deviate from social norms often face negative consequences such as exclusion, loneliness, or impaired wellbeing. While previous research has focused on consequences for specific minority groups, we know little about experiences of deviating from the norm in the general population, and about consequences and remedies that people perceive thereof. To fill these gaps, we conducted 62 qualitative in-depth interviews with young adults ages 18–30 years --- an age group that seems relatively sensitive to norm deviations. As social norms and sanctions vary cross-culturally, we sampled from different countries, including Nigeria, India, Turkey, South China and Hong Kong, and the Netherlands. Across cultural samples, participants reported a wide range of perceived norm deviations (e.g., in preferences; developmental timing; family relationships). A large share reported perceiving to deviate recurrently despite not being part of a defined minority – for instance, due to introversion or earlier experiences of not fitting in (e.g., with family; classmates). Numerous negative reported consequences (e.g., insecurity; social withdrawal; exclusion) suggest the high relevance of not fitting social norms for social and mental wellbeing. Specifically, interventions may need to target experiences of deviation outside minority groups more (e.g., through support groups; psychotherapy). Possible cultural differences are discussed.